Breastfeeding IS for sissies!

I was explaining to my friend about the discomfort of breastfeeding and after I explained all of my troubles and complaints I asked her if she ever felt this way. She looked me directly in the eyes with her eyebrows creased deep in thought. She replied, "you know, I don't think I ever felt uncomfortable while nursing, so I can't relate." After trying to cool my jets before I jealously punched her in the boob, I thought to myself, "wait, so this is why no one warned me that breastfeeding can be awful, because I'm the only one?... am I the only one that thinks breastfeeding is the equivalent of a 15 minute titty twister?" And being the woman I am, you know, the one covered in self esteem and exuding confidence, and because I NEVER compare myself to others, I thought, "Geez, something must be wrong with me."

 Let me lay it all out on the table for you!

"At least 44% of woman experience pain during breast feeding."

First and foremost, everyone is different. While everyone has their own experiences, I am going to relate mine and see if you can relate too. Use this as your warning. 

It could go much, much better for you. It could go much, much worse.

How long did you say?

People talk so much about the pregnancy, labor and delivery, that the post-partum parts are often left out. I get it - the reason they're left out is because no one wants to have conversations about the fact that they can't sit down because they have hemorrhoids the size of Granny Smith apples lining their butt hole. Or that standing and walking is a problem because you have 5 lbs of intestines and a full bladder pushing down on your fresh episiotomy stitches. BUT Pregnancy is 40 weeks, labor and delivery is like one day. ONE DAY people! But how long should you nurse your child? One frikkin year. ("The American Academy of Pediatrics reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for about 6 months, followed by continued breastfeeding as complementary foods are introduced, with continuation of breastfeeding for 1 year or longer.") 

WHY do we do it? It can protect baby from a long list of illnesses, allergies, SIDS and obesity and boost your child’s intelligence!

Breastfeeding doesn't hurt?

I thought I was so cool going to a "breastfeeding basics" class while I was pregnant because I wanted to breastfeed and, let's get real, I knew nothing about it. In the class the nurse taught us that if it hurts, you are doing it wrong and that really stuck with me.

After my perfect angel baby was born, the nurse grabbed my boob with her bare hand and shoved it into my baby's mouth. Ding ding ding! That was weird. It took a minute but she latched and, thank my lucky stars, my baby came out a pro! MANY woman do not have the same experience and then go on to have all kinds of feelings of anxiety, depression and shame. They spend countless hours trying to get baby to latch, worrying if baby will get the right nutrients, wondering about tongue tie issues, inverted nipples, visiting lactation specialists, etc. Then... they pump, and pump, and pump, and pump. And pumping is a biiiiiyyyaatch. MOOOOOOOOO. But more on that later.

WHY do I do it? From everydayfamily.com “Maintenance of a good latch also ensures that baby is satiated, and getting enough milk for proper nutrition, hydration, weight gain, and development.”

Instant blisters?

Baby was feeding on me for about two hours as we were bonding in the delivery room. That's what the nurse told me to do and I didn't know any better so I did it while my legs started to tingle back to life from my epidural. Ummmm going from nothing ever really touching your boob to full suction mode for 120 minutes is going to cause problems. DO NOT DO THAT! Because one hour later when baby is hungry again, that suction is coming right back. Babies use their tongue to do most of the work to get that awesome colostrum out and all that friction does the same thing that hiking in a new pair of shoes does - gives you a nice big blister... on the most sensitive skin on your body sans your eyeballs. Do they make mole skin for nipples? 

If not, I may have just invented something.

After feeding my baby for three hours straight in my recovery room she got gassy and hungry and fussy and we didn't know what the heck we were doing. Exhausted and tired, we called for reinforcements. The lactation specialist, who looked no more that 20 years old, took a look at my nursing swag and said it looked like I was doing it right, baby's latch was perfect. If I was doing it right, why was it hurting so bad? I thought if I was doing it right it wouldn't hurt?! Is the world just full of liars? WHY did I STILL do it? Because it’s a custom-made milk supply! Formula isn't able to change its constitution, but your breast milk morphs to meet your baby's changing needs. Colostrum—the "premilk" that comes in after you deliver—is chock-full of antibodies to protect your newborn baby.

Wait 3-4 weeks?

 

My baby came out wanting to suck, suck, suck all day long but the lactation specialists and nurses told me not to give her a pacifier until she was six weeks old in order to get her comfortable latching on me and to reduce risk of nipple confusion. That means my tender little cherry blossoms became my baby's full time pacifier. Thaaat lasted about six days. Thank you pacifier: You saved my life. It was my first lesson on mothers' instinct. Ivy took the paci and she's fine and eats like a pro. Screw you text books. WHY did I do it? There are benefits to the paci- For 1 thing, my baby gets great comfort from it,  after she has eaten and been kissed and cuddled, she still wants to suckle. It can reduce the risk of SIDS, and in my opinion is better to suck on than a thumb! But the greatest benefit of all is that it gave my poor, overworked areolas a break!

The pain!

The beautiful bonding time spent with your baby during nursing truly is wonderful. It does get better as you build up your calloused nips. But in the beginning, you look down at your baby who you love more than anything else in the world, through tears in your eyes. Except those tears are from the purple nurple you are experiencing for 10-15 minutes, on each boob, eight times a day.  I felt like i needed to bite down on a popsicle stick to get through the pain sometimes. The Urban Dictionary's definition of purple nurple is: "To grab ones titty and twist until it turns black and blue." There is no other definition needed. 

I had to change the shower nozzle to spray more gently and purchase a softer towel to dab, dab, dab. You'd bet your life that if anything other than my baby came near my sensitive little nips it'd get a back hand to the face. 

My good friend and a blogger (who I've never met and who actually isn't my friend) said it best: "When your partner asks you why you complain about breastfeeding so much, you’ll be tempted to leap off the couch and twist his nipple off while screaming, “How you like that!?!” But you don’t, because you still haven’t been given clearance to exercise." haha!

The duration?

You hear that baby needs to eat about every two hours to fill up that little marble-sized tummy. It's two hours from the time they STARTED eating. If they eat for 30 minutes, you're nursing every hour and a half which means you only have 90 minutes to give those bad boys a rest. I have one word: Lanolin. I kept that stuff warmed in my back pocket for 6 weeks. (7 months later and I still use it)

I was in so much pain from my blisters and being rubbed raw so often that a dear friend brought over her Nipple shields for me to use to keep 'em dry and aired out between feedings and so they wouldn't touch anything.

 

Got me looking all sexy like madonna.

That milk comes in!

 

Engorgement. When your breasts are painfully overfull of milk. It makes it harder for baby to latch and harder to the touch than a bowling ball.

My milk came in right on time a few days after my baby Ivy was born, like hell on fire breaking through my blistery nipples. Seriously. Hell. Marching right on through. With daggers. No, Samurai swords. Playing fruit Ninja.

I heard an ice pack would help the swelling. It didn't. I then resorted to crying over the bathroom sink for the next two hours with a hot facecloth trying to rub my boobs or empty them a bit. Ivy had trouble latching because I was so engorged so I needed to get the milk out. I tried a hand-held pump, it didn't work. My pump I acquired through my insurance hadn't arrived yet, so my husband ran to the store and bought one (now I have two, oh well). I would have spent a thousand dollars to get that 10 pounds of milk out of my boobs. I pumped and dumped. Never have I ever experienced more pain in my chest that my milk coming in. I thought for sure I would get stretch marks around them because they looked ready to explode. Next time I will have my pump ready.

Pumping:

UGGGHHHH... do not get me started. If you want to literally SEE your nipple get stretched through a narrow tube - pumping is for you!

So once you have your pump parts all assembled and ready to go, you suction it onto your boob and it sucks the milk right on out of your body. My husband was very involved in my birth - he saw everything up close. Pumping, however, he cannot watch. The first time he saw me do it he left the room dry heaving. Wuss... This is probably due to the fact that you can actually see the milk, freshly squeezed, coming out of your nips, and those little titty flowers are stretched about two inches into the funnel of the pump. How great is that?! Don't despair, you did all that work and got half an ounce on each side. 

"Woohoo, one ounce!" - said no one ever. 

Don’t forget to store your milk correctly after you’ve pumped in the bathroom, or car, or in the storage closet at work - now that's when you feel your best! Correctly storing the milk, heating the milk, writing the date on all those little milk bags, accidentally spilling or wasting those precious drops- it literally gives me anxiety. And Ohmygooosh, I love standing over the kitchen sink at all hours of the day and night using my fun little bottle cleaner... not. I get anxiety over how to keep the bottles clean. Scrub them with hot water and soap? Dishwasher? Steaming them? Soak? Don't soak? Boil? I still don't know. I only know that there are too many parts and nooks and crannies within pump parts and bottles. 

WHY do I pump? To keep my milk supply up of coarse. And to decrease engorgement, to have stored milk, to get to see my husband feed his baby with a bottle and to know exactly how many ounces baby ate.

The spray!

 

For the first month (at least) of baby's life, I felt like I was a big fat cow. My boobs were, more often than not, hanging loose, being used to feed my sweet babe. No one told me how leaky they could be!!! I felt like I could fill up a disposable nursing pad in one minute; especially while baby ate on the other side (7 months in and this still happens). Speaking of the nursing pad AKA the bane of my existence: You can bet that 4/5 times I've left it somewhere, only to find it much, much later stuck to my pants, restaurant booth, couch, or crinkled up in the side of my bra. But it's too late because I've already been walking around with a jolly wet patch right over my teet. Don't worry, It's not noticeable at all {insert rolling eyes emoji}. One of the most incredible things I've seen while feeding baby on one side is the other side letting out a bunch of milk, spraying either into my baby's face (oopsy) or across the room. Like a warm mist, it is so mesmerizing and interesting and alarming all at the same time that it takes a minute to snap out of it and plug that udder up. (is it just me who’s fingers feel all sticky after doing so? weirrrd)

The extras:

Worrying about losing your milk, exercising right and eating enough calories - it all gives me more anxiety. And how about that nursing cover that people expect you to be a pro at using in the first week of your baby's life? 
No wonder many women 'give up' breastfeeding! I was four weeks in and thinking "formula is looking real good right about now". The doctor says formula is fine to feed to baby if you can't hack it. And then I cry, because I literally cry all the time now. And because feeding your baby is "your job as a woman, you failure!" (-Voice inside of Tessa’s head) Can't this be the ONE thing the man can take over for you? I mean, come on - you grew the baby, birthed the baby, and now you have to feed it too?!!

 

So why do we do it? Why did I go through all of that? Well, I'm not going to lie, I actually love it! Yes, nursing is a literal PAIN in the beginning, but it does get better. Practice makes perfect. There are so many benefits: It's cheap, it helps you heal post-delivery, creates a healthy baby, you get to enjoy bonding time etc etc! Nursing is easiest. You just pull up your shirt (unsnap that pretty nursing bra, ha!) and feed your baby. The end!

So after all of this, now you can't say that no one warned you about some of the little things you could go through when starting your nursing journey.

My best advise: Suck it up, it will get better.