I was explaining to my friend about the discomfort
of breastfeeding and after I explained all of my troubles and complaints I
asked her if she ever felt this way. She looked me directly in the eyes with
her eyebrows creased deep in thought. She replied, "you know, I don't
think I ever felt uncomfortable while nursing, so I can't relate." After
trying to cool my jets before I jealously punched her in the boob, I thought to
myself, "wait, so this is why no one warned me that breastfeeding can be awful,
because I'm the only one?... am I the only one that thinks breastfeeding is the
equivalent of a 15 minute titty twister?" And being the woman I am, you
know, the one covered in self esteem and exuding confidence, and because I
NEVER compare myself to others, I thought, "Geez, something must be wrong
with me."
"At least 44% of woman experience pain during breast feeding."
First and foremost, everyone is different. While
everyone has their own experiences, I am going to relate mine and see if you
can relate too. Use this as your warning.
It could go much, much better for
you. It could go much, much worse.
How
long did you say?
People talk so much about the pregnancy, labor and
delivery, that the post-partum parts are often left out. I get it - the
reason they're left out is because no one wants to have conversations about the
fact that they can't sit down because they have hemorrhoids the size of Granny
Smith apples lining their butt hole. Or that standing and walking is a problem
because you have 5 lbs of intestines and a full bladder pushing down on your fresh episiotomy stitches. BUT Pregnancy is 40 weeks, labor and delivery is like one
day. ONE DAY people! But how long should you nurse your child? One frikkin
year. ("The American Academy
of Pediatrics reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding
for about 6 months, followed by continued breastfeeding as complementary
foods are introduced, with continuation of breastfeeding for 1
year or longer.")
WHY do we do it? It can protect
baby from a long list of illnesses, allergies, SIDS and obesity and boost your
child’s intelligence!
Breastfeeding
doesn't hurt?
I thought I was so cool going to a "breastfeeding basics" class
while I was pregnant because I wanted to breastfeed and, let's get real, I knew
nothing about it. In the class the nurse taught us that if it hurts, you are
doing it wrong and that really stuck with me.
After my perfect angel baby was born, the nurse grabbed my boob
with her bare hand and shoved it into my baby's mouth. Ding ding ding! That was
weird. It took a minute but she latched and, thank my lucky stars, my baby came
out a pro! MANY woman do not have the same experience and then go on to have
all kinds of feelings of anxiety, depression and shame. They spend countless hours trying
to get baby to latch, worrying if baby will get the right nutrients, wondering
about tongue tie issues, inverted nipples, visiting lactation specialists, etc.
Then... they pump, and pump, and pump, and pump. And pumping is a
biiiiiyyyaatch. MOOOOOOOOO. But more on that later.
WHY do I do it? From
everydayfamily.com “Maintenance of a good latch also ensures that
baby is satiated, and getting enough milk for proper nutrition, hydration,
weight gain, and development.”
Instant
blisters?
Baby was feeding on me for about two hours as we were bonding
in the delivery room. That's what the nurse told me to do and I didn't know any
better so I did it while my legs started to tingle back to life from my
epidural. Ummmm going from nothing ever really touching your boob to full
suction mode for 120 minutes is going to cause problems. DO NOT DO THAT!
Because one hour later when baby is hungry again, that suction is coming right
back. Babies use their tongue to do most of the work to get that awesome
colostrum out and all that friction does the same thing that hiking in a new
pair of shoes does - gives you a nice big blister... on the most sensitive skin
on your body sans your eyeballs. Do they make mole skin for nipples?
If not, I may have just
invented something.
After feeding my baby for three hours straight in my recovery room
she got gassy and hungry and fussy and we didn't know what the heck we were
doing. Exhausted and tired, we called for reinforcements. The lactation
specialist, who looked no more that 20 years old, took a look at my nursing
swag and said it looked like I was doing it right, baby's latch was perfect. If I was doing it right, why
was it hurting so bad? I thought if I was doing it right it wouldn't hurt?! Is
the world just full of liars? WHY did I STILL do it? Because it’s
a custom-made milk supply! Formula isn't able to change its constitution, but your
breast milk morphs to meet your baby's changing needs. Colostrum—the
"premilk" that comes in after you deliver—is chock-full of antibodies
to protect your newborn baby.
Wait
3-4 weeks?
My baby came out wanting to suck, suck, suck all day
long but the lactation specialists and nurses told me not to give her a
pacifier until she was six weeks old in order to get her comfortable latching
on me and to reduce risk of nipple confusion. That means my tender little
cherry blossoms became my baby's full time pacifier. Thaaat lasted about six days.
Thank you pacifier: You saved my life. It was my first lesson on mothers'
instinct. Ivy took the paci and she's fine and eats like a pro. Screw you text
books. WHY did I do it? There are benefits to the paci- For 1 thing,
my baby gets great comfort from it, after she has eaten and been kissed
and cuddled, she still wants to suckle. It can reduce the risk of SIDS, and in my opinion is better to
suck on than a thumb! But the greatest benefit of all is that it gave my poor,
overworked areolas a break!
The
pain!
The beautiful bonding time spent with your baby
during nursing truly is wonderful. It does get better as you build up your
calloused nips. But in the beginning, you look down at your baby who you love
more than anything else in the world, through tears in your eyes. Except those
tears are from the purple nurple you are experiencing for 10-15 minutes, on
each boob, eight times a day. I felt like i needed to bite down on a popsicle stick to get through the pain sometimes. The Urban Dictionary's definition
of purple nurple is: "To grab ones titty and twist until it turns black
and blue." There is no other definition needed.
I had to change the shower nozzle to spray more gently and purchase a softer towel to dab, dab, dab. You'd bet your life that if anything other than my baby came near my sensitive little nips it'd get a back hand to the face.
My
good friend and a blogger (who I've never met and who actually isn't my friend)
said it best: "When your partner asks you
why you complain about breastfeeding so much, you’ll be tempted to leap off the
couch and twist his nipple off while screaming, “How you like that!?!” But
you don’t, because you still haven’t been given clearance to exercise."
haha!
The
duration?
You hear that baby needs to eat about every two
hours to fill up that little marble-sized tummy. It's two hours from the time
they STARTED eating. If they eat for 30 minutes, you're nursing every hour and
a half which means you only have 90 minutes to give those bad boys a rest. I
have one word: Lanolin. I kept that stuff warmed in my back pocket for 6 weeks. (7 months later and I still use it)
I was in so much pain from my blisters and being
rubbed raw so often that a dear friend brought over her Nipple shields for me
to use to keep 'em dry and aired out between feedings and so they wouldn't touch anything.
Got me looking all sexy like
madonna.
That
milk comes in!
Engorgement. When your breasts are painfully overfull of milk. It makes it harder for baby to latch
and harder to the touch than a bowling ball.
My milk came in right on time a few days after my baby Ivy was born, like hell on fire breaking through my blistery nipples. Seriously.
Hell. Marching right on through. With daggers. No, Samurai swords. Playing fruit Ninja.
I heard an ice pack would help the swelling. It
didn't. I then resorted to crying over the bathroom sink for the next two hours
with a hot facecloth trying to rub my boobs or empty them a bit. Ivy had
trouble latching because I was so engorged so I needed to get the milk out. I
tried a hand-held pump, it didn't work. My pump I acquired through my insurance
hadn't arrived yet, so my husband ran to the store and bought one (now I have
two, oh well). I would have spent a thousand dollars to get that 10 pounds of
milk out of my boobs. I pumped and dumped. Never have I ever experienced more
pain in my chest that my milk coming in. I thought for sure I would get stretch marks around them because they looked ready to explode. Next time I will have my pump ready.
Pumping:
UGGGHHHH... do not get me started. If you want to
literally SEE your nipple get stretched through a narrow tube - pumping is for
you!
So once you have your pump parts all assembled and
ready to go, you suction it onto your boob and it sucks the milk right on
out of your body. My husband was very involved in my birth - he saw everything
up close. Pumping, however, he cannot watch. The first time he saw me do it he
left the room dry heaving. Wuss... This is probably due to the fact that you
can actually see the milk, freshly squeezed, coming out of your nips, and those
little titty flowers are stretched about two inches into the funnel of the
pump. How great is that?! Don't despair, you did all that work and got half an
ounce on each side.
"Woohoo, one ounce!" - said no one ever.
Don’t
forget to store your milk correctly after you’ve pumped in the bathroom, or
car, or in the storage closet at work - now that's when you feel your best! Correctly
storing the milk, heating the milk, writing the date on all those little milk
bags, accidentally spilling or wasting those precious drops- it literally
gives me anxiety. And Ohmygooosh, I love standing over the kitchen sink at all
hours of the day and night using my fun little bottle cleaner... not. I get
anxiety over how to keep the bottles clean. Scrub them with hot water and soap?
Dishwasher? Steaming them? Soak? Don't soak? Boil? I still don't know. I only
know that there are too many parts and nooks and crannies within pump parts and
bottles.
WHY do I pump? To keep my milk supply up of coarse. And to
decrease engorgement, to have stored milk, to get to see my husband feed his
baby with a bottle and to know exactly how many ounces baby ate.
The
spray!
For the first month (at least) of baby's life, I
felt like I was a big fat cow. My boobs were, more often than not, hanging
loose, being used to feed my sweet babe. No one told me how leaky they could be!!!
I felt like I could fill up a disposable nursing pad in one minute; especially while baby ate on the other side (7 months in and this still happens). Speaking of the nursing pad AKA the bane of my existence: You can bet that 4/5 times I've left it somewhere, only to find it much, much later stuck to my pants, restaurant booth, couch, or crinkled up in the side of my bra. But it's too late because I've already been walking around with a jolly wet patch right over my teet. Don't worry, It's not noticeable at all {insert rolling eyes emoji}. One of the
most incredible things I've seen while feeding baby on one side is the other
side letting out a bunch of milk, spraying either into my baby's face (oopsy)
or across the room. Like a warm mist, it is so mesmerizing and interesting
and alarming all at the same time that it takes a minute to snap out of it and
plug that udder up. (is it just me who’s fingers feel all sticky after doing so? weirrrd)
The
extras:
Worrying about losing your milk, exercising right
and eating enough calories - it all gives me more anxiety. And how about that
nursing cover that people expect you to be a pro at using in the first week of
your baby's life?
No wonder many women 'give up' breastfeeding! I was
four weeks in and thinking "formula is looking real good right about
now". The doctor says formula is fine to feed to baby if you can't hack
it. And then I cry, because I literally cry all the time now. And because
feeding your baby is "your job as a woman, you failure!" (-Voice inside of Tessa’s head) Can't this be the ONE thing the man can take over for
you? I mean, come on - you grew the baby, birthed the baby, and now you have to
feed it too?!!
No wonder many women 'give up' breastfeeding! I was
four weeks in and thinking "formula is looking real good right about
now". The doctor says formula is fine to feed to baby if you can't hack
it. And then I cry, because I literally cry all the time now. And because
feeding your baby is "your job as a woman, you failure!" (-Voice inside of Tessa’s head) Can't this be the ONE thing the man can take over for
you? I mean, come on - you grew the baby, birthed the baby, and now you have to
feed it too?!!
So
why do we do it? Why did I go through all of that? Well, I'm not going to lie, I actually love it! Yes, nursing is a literal PAIN in the beginning, but it
does get better. Practice makes perfect. There are so many benefits: It's cheap, it helps you heal post-delivery,
creates a healthy baby, you get to enjoy bonding time etc etc! Nursing is easiest. You just pull up your shirt
(unsnap that pretty nursing bra, ha!) and feed your baby. The end!
So after all of this, now you can't say that no one
warned you about some of the little things you could go through when starting your
nursing journey.
My best advise: Suck it up, it will get better.
